"Deep in a dark forest, a forest field with rain; beyond the stretch of Maryland pines there's a river without a name. In the cold black water, Johnson Linnier stands. He stares across at the city lights and dreams of where he's been." Bruce Springsteen
There are days I feel like I'm more of a politician or a defense attorney, working a system to gain strength in order to do something or constantly on defending someone accused of something. It's a feeling that is strong enough to create an unhealthy anxiety level within. It's a mixture of necessary and unnecessary anxiety. There are times in this world that I am forced to play the role of a politician in order achieve a goal. There are times I am needed to come to the defense of a student, a friend, a congregant, a colleague. There are times I simply wish to minister.
Is it possible to be a minister in the church without feeling like your campaigning for votes or preparing a defense?
In all honesty, I am not sure. I sincerely hope so. It's easy to blurt out a yes. It's just as easy to blurt out a no. I have heard the arguments before. I have heard that the professional minister toes the line because we get paid and we have to earn a paycheck to dinner on the table. Perhaps that is the problem. Is getting paid to do what we do the reason for the question above? Would ministers be better off serving freely and working a secular job?
Perhaps it is true: so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens ("The Red Wheelbarrow" William Carlos Williams)
I am not looking for answers to my questions. They are questions, nothing more and nothing less. The vocation of ministry hinges not on the above questions but my own willingness to humbly go where Christ leads. The questions are just questions. In those questions I listen to the voice that says, "Follow me."
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