Do We Really Care?

The top answer in a majority of surveys given by church strategists to non-church people can be summed up with one question for the church: “Do they care?”

Do the people who are not the greeters care enough to come over and say hi to me?

Do they care enough to have something for my children? Do they care about my children? Do they care about my family? Do they care about each other? Do they care enough to show up and provide a safe environment for my child to experience God? Do they care?

Do we care?

After explaining to the disciples the kingdom's understanding of greatness, he calls over a child to him, saying, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.” The child may represent the least of these, for a child is defenseless and in need of protection and are unable to care for themselves without the help of the community. No matter how many times they say they can do it themselves. But let's take Jesus' words at face value and ask ourselves, “Is there room for children and youth in our worship? In our church? In our lives?” (Mark 9:37 NRSV).

Is there room for them to be who they are discovering themselves to be? Is there room for them at our communion table? Is there room for them in our pews?

We may be quick to answer the question with a hearty “yes” but do we really?

Immediately following his declaration on welcoming a child, Jesus (after a discussion with John on the importance of welcoming and allowing others to minister in Jesus' name even though they are not a part of their group) says, “If any of you put a stumbling block before one these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great milestone were hung around your neck and thrown into the sea.” (9:42)

Again, we can read more into it and say the little ones can refer to others such as young Christians or those who are defenseless but for our purposes today and the question we've been asked let us read it as it reads. Tied into the notion that we are to welcome children because one who does welcomes Christ, we can see the importance of making room for children in our worship, in our church, and in our lives. Jesus expands the question: Do we care enough about our children not put stumbling blocks in front of them as they grow in Christ?

After responding to a question about divorce, Jesus witnessed the disciples turn the children away who were being brought to him so that he might bless them. When he saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.” (10:13-14)

We, adults, sometimes believe we have all the answers or know what's best for our children and teenagers. Sometimes we do. Sometimes having walked where they are walking gives us an insight into their lives and allows us to offer a unique perspective. However, sometimes we don't. Sometimes what we believe to be best for them is really just best for ourselves and is more about us as adults than it is about them. We can become clouded by our experiences that we do not allow our children and teenagers to create unique experiences for themselves, specifically when it comes to following Christ.

Children are playful, inquisitive, loud, and full of energy. They do not obey the rules we give them very well nor do they do what they are told right away. They're curiosity causes them to build spaceships out of refrigerator boxes and pretend to explore the galaxies. They ask questions and their favorite word is “why”. They remind of us our own childhood, for better or worse, and they frustrate us. Our societal rules do not allow us to remain children forever. We confuse childlike with childish and we slowly stamp out their creativity and childlike curiosity. We do not do this on purpose. In fact, I believe we try to avoid doing this but eventually the responsibilities of adulthood catch up to us and we forget what it's like to be 9 or 13 or 16.

Caring for our children and our youth is more than providing ministries for them or events for them to attend or programs to get the out of worship on a Sunday morning. It goes beyond that to a place where we are continuously lifting them up and allowing them space to encounter Jesus in a way that transforms their lives. This means honoring their child-likeness and perhaps being a little more childlike ourselves.

I was probably 16 or 17 when I experienced a remarkable moment in church. I was sitting down towards the front in the center pews and to the left when a little girl got up from her seat to go to the bathroom. On her way out, she turned and walked up to the pulpit and tugged on the pastor's jacket. He stopped in the middle of his serious sermon and bent down to her; with his microphone on we heard her say, “This is for you” and she handed him a drawing she had just finished. He graciously accepted it and hugged the little girl and she went on her way. Normal church protocol would have been to ignore the child or send her back to her parents and the publicly patronize them about control and proper parenting; however, the pastor fully accepted the child as she was and allowed this holy moment to take place.

We adults are serious people. We get caught up in our adulthood and everything is a serious as serious can be. This seriousness passes down to our children and our youth and they eventually become serious people sooner than they should. Of course we know there are times to be serious and we know serious moments exist but those moments do a wonderful job of being defined to us by the moments themselves. We cause our little ones to stumble when we get too serious.

Craig McNair Wilson performs a one man play of Jesus' life called, “The Fifth Gospel.” Craig plays all the characters: the disciples, Jesus, Pilate, the leper, the blind man, and so forth. One particular scene stands out in his performance. Jesus and the disciples were all in the river taking baths when John reaches down to the floor of the river and brings up a huge mud pie. John takes careful aim and SPLAT! He nails Peter in the face. John immediately ducks underwater as if he is scrubbing. Peter reaches for his mud pie, takes aim and WHAM! Peter nails Matthew. James wastes no time responding with his own mud pie, and soon bedlam breaks out among the disciples. A full fledged mud pie fight is under way. Simon the Zealot lets loose a huge one at John's face. John ducks and the mud rocket hits Jesus right in the middle of his forehead. All the disciples freeze. After a long silence Thomas leans over to Simon and says, “You idiot! You just hit the Son of God with a mud pie...he's going to turn us into turtles!” Jesus gazes over the disciples and with a knowing smile, stops and stares down Simon. Jesus reaches down into the mud and comes up with a very large mud pie and SMACK! Simon is hit squarely on his the top of his head, and as the mud slithers down his face, everyone, including Jesus, breaks into laughter.¹

Jesus knew how to play as well as how to pray; how to laugh as well as cry; how to be serious about life but not take himself too seriously. When Jesus says, “Anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (10:15), e is reminding us, as adults, not to take ourselves too seriously. Childlike faith or the faith of a child is not about accepting what we are told as fact or not asking questions. Instead it is about asking questions and asking why and then being okay with whatever answer we are given or not given. Being like a child means for us to keep our spirit young and full of life. Jesus came to show us the kingdom and to save us and that includes saving us from becoming severe, unyielding, harsh, and terminally serious.²

Caring for our children means that we are not to put up stumbling blocks and prevent them from following Jesus. We may look at those stumbling blocks and think of things that would cause them to sin and we would partially be right but the sins are not bound to things of the flesh like sex, drugs, alcohol. Our stumbling blocks include things that deny them the opportunity to fully experience Christ. When I was 6, I remember a very formative incident at church, it was during a Christmas Eve service and the deacons were passing around the communion plates. The plates started to come down my aisle and I took the plate from my neighbor and began to take a piece of the bread. My mom stopped me immediately and told me that I couldn't have any. I thought I was in trouble so I asked why? I was good during the week and I had been good during the service. She informed me that I couldn't partake in this very important ritual because I had not been baptized. I didn't understand why I couldn't. I may not have been baptized but I loved Jesus very much and everyone else was taking it I should have the right to do so as well; but no was no and I went into full meltdown. I was angry, upset, hurt, and eventually my mom allowed me to have a small piece. The next week I went down and told the pastor that I wanted to be baptized. It was a stumbling block because what was supposed to be a holy moment, my baptism, became a necessary need to recognized by others as one of their own.

Likewise, we place stumbling blocks before our children that are written by tradition and not by scripture nor by written/instructed by Christ. We tell our children and youth that they first must understand baptism before they are baptized; they first must understand the Lord's Supper before you eat of it; we deny them an opportunity to come to Jesus because they do not come to him in the way we do. They do not wait for an invitation or permission like we do. They go to him unashamed and boldly while we cower and double check our list of doctrines; and it is to those little children that the kingdom of God belongs to.

“Listen,” Mr. Wonka said, “I'm an old man. I'm much older than you think. I can't go on forever...someone's got to keep the factory going—if only for the Oompa-Loompas. Mind you, there are thousands of clever men who would give anything for the chance to come in and take over from me but I don't want a grown-up person at all. A grownup won't listen to me; he won't learn. He will try to do things his own way and not mine. So I have to have a child. I want a good sensible loving child, one to whom I can tell all my most precious candy-making secrets –while I am still alive.”³

Yes, the kingdom of God belongs to ones such as these so do not hinder them from coming to Jesus nor be a stumbling block for them. For if we truly care about our children and our youth then we will move out of the way and let the playfulness of Christ meet the playfulness of his children.

1Yaconelli, Michael. Dangerous Wonder. Navpress 2003 pg 73-74

2Yaconelli, pg 74

3Dahl, Roald. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Puffin Books, 1964 pg 151