Unexpected Great Expectations

Samuel was ministering before the Lord, a boy wearing a linen ephod. His mother used to make for him a little robe and take it to him each year, when she went up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “May the Lord repay you with children by this woman for the gift that she made to the Lord”; and then they would return to their home. And the Lord took note of Hannah; she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord...Now the boy Samuel continued to grow both in stature and in favor with the Lord and with the people. (1 Samuel 2:18-21;26 NRSV).

Samuel is a very interesting character in the Old Testament and in the entire bible. I believe is the only child ever given straight to the Lord as a gift for a gift. Many of you are familiar with Samuel's story but for those who are not, Samuel's mother, Hannah, after years of being unable to have children, in desperation prayed at the alter where Eli was priest. In the temple she prayed, “O Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death.” As she continued praying, Eli watched and he could not hear her for she was praying silently so Eli thought she was drunk. Eli chastises her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine.” But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.” Eli answered, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.”

Time came and went until Hannah discovered she was with child. When Samuel was old enough and weaned, she took him to Eli, presented him, and said, “I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed; and the Lord has granted me the petition I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he is given to the Lord.” And there she left him for the Lord.

There are stories throughout the scriptures that take your breath away or cause you to ask a lot of questions that begin with “why”. Samuel's story is one of them and I imagine when his mother would visit with his brothers and sisters, someone would eventually ask, “Why is Samuel not coming home?” I am sure while at the market place someone would ask Hannah, “Tell me again where Samuel is?” I am sure the rumors of the reasons why Samuel was living in the temple with Eli were beyond speakable and occasionally demeaning. Not that I have any proof of this, it is just an assumption based on knowing people.

Samuel's life reminds me a lot of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. In Great Expectations, a little boy named Pip helps save an escaped prisoner and as the years pass, Pip receives a great deal of wealth from a benevolent benefactor. The book explains that there were great expectations for Pip (at least what I recall. I must admit that I did not get past the first chapter) and I imagine there were great expectations for Samuel as well. After all, Eli's sons were not pleasant fellows and according to our scripture passage, the Lord has intended to kill the boys. So, it would seem that as Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord and grew in stature and favor with both God and the people, there would indeed be some heavy great expectations.

Samuel's story fascinates me because he does not really get a choice regarding his life. Many of us chose our professions, even if we felt called to do them, we still made the choice but the right to choose has been removed from Samuel's hands. His mother made the choice for him before she even had conceived him and throughout his ministry to the people he faces a lot of unexpected great expectations. He is expected to intercede before God on behalf of the people. Eventually he is expected to choose a king for the people and when chosen king does not live up to expectations, he is expected to choose another to take the king's place. These expectations are not unreasonable for a prophet and judge but they are great. If we think voting is a heavy task, imagine being responsible for the souls of the people and choosing the person who will be the king, those are some heavy expectations. Yet, we will see Samuel handle those expectations with grace and dignity and remain in favor with the Lord.

When Lacy and I were going through premarital counseling we were asked to make clear reasonable expectations of one another. For example, I expected Lacy to do the dishes. Lacy expected me to take out the trash. Honest, clear and reasonable expectations. Of course, ten years later, we end up both doing the dishes and taking the trash over. Expectations are good things and it helps to know those expectations. For example, you expect me to prepare and preach a sermon on Sunday mornings. I expect you to get out of bed and attend church. Reasonable. You expect me to fly and I expect you to read my mind, unreasonable. There are reasonable expectations and there are unreasonable expectations. In fact, most marriages and relationships fall a part because of unreasonable expectations of the person. It is surprising to me that Samuel is able to grow both in stature and in favor of both God and the people; specifically the people due to our often unreasonable expectations of one another.

Each of us have been victims of unreasonable expectations; whether it is in our marriages, friendships, jobs, relationships with our children or our parents or other family members, we have all been victims of unreasonable expectations. The problem is that our egos feed into those expectations. In other words, we believe we can live up to those expectations or we desire that challenge to live into those expectations. The biggest unhealthy and unreasonable expectation is that one in which we all think that one person can fix all our problems. We think if I just marry that right person, befriend that right person, elect that right person, hire that right person, work for that right person, attend that right church with the right people all my problems will be solved. We place messianic expectations on people and when those people fail us, we are bewildered and cannot fathom how it happened.

Take a moment and think about expectations you place on yourself and others. Do an honest reflection on those expectations, are they reasonable or unreasonable? Some are, like the ones I mentioned before, are reasonable. It is reasonable and healthy to expect your children to pass their classes and possibly attend college if they wish. It is reasonable to expect them to get a job if they choose not to and reasonable to expect them to get a job after graduation from either high school or college. It is reasonable to expect our parents to love us, care for us, and provide for us in the best possible manner they can. It is reasonable to expect our spouses or significant others to love us unconditional. It is reasonable to expect certain things but sometimes we do expect too much and people crumble under those expectations. Often the most important things in our lives fail to live up to our expectations because our expectations were just too much for any poor soul or poor thing. In the words of Doc Holiday, “We're just too high strung.”

What does this have to do with Samuel growing up before the Lord and growing in stature and in favor with God and the people? From a psychoanalytical perspective it is a deep part of the Samuel story. Samuel grows to understand the unreasonable expectations of the Israelites. They expect to not encounter any set backs or problems because they worship the one true God. The problem is that God often seems absent or does not respond quickly or in fact does not live up to their expectations so they will turn to things of their world and will long to be just like everyone else. People are okay with being different, living differently, being chosen, until the journey takes an unexpected twist and it stops living up to the expectations they set in their mind. Somehow, through a majority of it, Samuel does not fall prey to their expectations. He is comfortable with his role and understands his role as priest, prophet, and judge of Israel. He cares deeply for the people but when the people desire something that is not good for them or not of God, he is not afraid to speak out, he is not afraid of his prophet role. Samuel would make a terrible politician and pastor.

Thus brings me to my final point. If I might be honest, I would like to admit to you that I believe New Year's Eve and the New Year to be the most overrated, over-hyped, unreasonable and unhealthy expected days of the year. Every year people write out their little resolutions and some stick to them very well while others are lucky if they make it past the first hour of the new year. We place a lot of pressure on two days of the year and those days fail us continually. It is like attending every Broadway showing of Les Miserables and being a little let down when you watch the new movie. The event, the day, the person, will never live up to so much hype and that much expectations. It is why many of us are continually disappointed every year, every two years, every four years, etc. We expect too much.

As I said, this does not mean we should not have any expectations, it means we should set reasonable expectations for one another, for others, and for our world. We need expectations that can be met and reached. We need expectations that do not place others or ourselves above God. We need expectations that are healthy and seek to move forward the kingdom of heaven and not our own desires. We need to learn and realize that the people beside us are human and humans are not heroes or gods. They are good, decent people who will do what they can for you, and will not let you down, as long as you do not have unreasonable expectations of them.