Be Kind To Our Congregation

A couple of months ago I posted a blog titled, "Be Kind To Our Ministers", after a conversation yesterday with several ministers and other uppity church folk, I felt convicted to write one titled, "Be Kind To Our Congregation".

Here it goes...

Being a Christian is difficult. There is a certain amount expectation that comes with making a decision to follow Christ. The world sees you differently and you are held to a higher standard than anyone else. When you mess up people will yell at you and say, "You should know better." It's true we should know better but there needs to be the honest realization that Christians are flawed human beings and no two are a like.

I Hear Voices in My Head

One of the many universal truths about church ministry is this: our congregation will stumble while they are following Christ. Many in our churches are doing their very best to live the Christian life, yet they are bombarded by different voices, mostly other ministers or authors, who constantly tell them what that Christian life should look like. They are told that Christians don't drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep around, vote Democrat/Republican, or do anything immoral. They are told Christians give to the poor, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, go out and save the lost (something a Christian author/speaker says if they are not doing daily then they are going to hell), and that's just a partial list.

And to top that list off, those voices they are listening too often tell them to not listen to the other voice. How can expect normal, every day Christians, whose lives are a series of ups and downs, and do not work in a church or get paid to write books, differentiate from the voices?

Come to church?

With the vast varying Christian voices out there by prominent preachers, of course our congregation is going to stumble. Their ears are being deafen by voice after voice yelling, "Listen to my voice!"

The House Looks Lived In

Many struggle with the perception that the Christian is perfect and if their "house" is not in order, they are told by others they are not really Christian. Instead of being told that a messy life is indeed a life that looks lived in, they are urged to get it together before they serve on any committee. Life is messy and it is hard. It is hard to maintain a decent job, be a parent, be a faithful, loving, supportive spouse; it is hard to be an adult period.

Unhealthy Great Expectations

Ministers tend to have unhealthy expectations for their church members. They are expected to be a full-time parent, child, or student, while balancing stressful jobs, and stressful home lives; and keeping their commitments to the church. When they fail in any of those ares they do not need us to pounce them, calling them uncommitted, and telling them if they can't do they shouldn't have signed up for it. Our expectations for them are as unhealthy as some of their expectations for us.

As stated above, and restated, life is hard. Being a Christian and living a Christian is even harder. We struggle with unhealthy expectations set by the world as well as struggle with faces of Christianity clamoring for the spotlight or for power or for money.

How can we expect them to live faithfully into God's call as followers of Christ they are given unreasonable expectations and when they fail or falter they are met with chastisement and blog posts on how it's their fault people are turning away from the church.

The healthiest expectation we can have of one another is this: We promise to do our best. We promise to follow Christ the best we know how. We know we do not have it all figured out and we know we will stumble and fall; yet by the grace of God we know we are still loved. When our brothers and sisters miss up, we will not judge. Instead we will sit beside them until they are ready to walk again. When they stumble we will forgive as Christ forgave.

Ministers, It's Not Your Church

I posted this story in my previous post but will share again because it applies: A minister was once told by a congregant, "I was here before you got here and I will be here after you leave." The statement serves as a reminder that we entering into a place not only has a history but was also already at work.

We sometimes believe we are taking the gospel or the Spirit of God with us when we go into a new church. We forget that the Spirit was there working long before we ever showed, and that Spirit will continue to work there long after we leave. God doesn't show up when we do. God is already working in the people who are there, who live in the community, and who have belonged to that community longer than many of us have been alive.

I know it's a shot to the ego but God was there before us and God will be there after us.

It is indeed Christ's church, and we need to remember the same grace we expect to be given to us must be given to our congregation.

Because They Need to Know They Are Loved

You and I know how difficult it can be to work in a church as a minister. Many of us do not know how difficult it can be to follow Christ in a corporate setting or at the mill or in life where daily church stuff is not the norm. When our congregation comes together on Sunday mornings (or whenever) they need to not only be challenged but they need to know they are loved. They need to know that we have been in prayer for them. They need to know they are cared for and appreciated and welcomed with all their faults.

They need to know their minister will reassure them God loves them when they discover their child is an addict. They need to know they are loved when their marriages fall apart or when tragedy strikes. They need to know they are loved when they are not which voice is speaking for God's voice so they try them all. They need to know they are loved and that we will not quit on them.

Just as you and I are children of God, they too are a child of God. They are in need of ministers who will not give up on them. They need ministers who are willing to leave behind the 99 and search out for that one who got lost in the darkness.

They are doing their best to follow Jesus so be kind to them and love them. Put away your stones and know it is not easy to be a Christian and _______, __________, and _________.

Remember, just as it not okay for them to mistreat us and our spouses, it is not okay for us to mistreat them.

Love them for who they are and who they are growing to be. Challenge but always challenge in love, grace, and kindness.