It was my first week of my first
ministry job - children's ministry specialist. I was driving to work,
across the James River, excited about the opportunity to do ministry
and work with kids, when it hit me: I would be teaching these kids
about faith. You may think, "well, duh, I think that's part of
the job description," but what I realized is that I would have a
direct impact on these children and their faith formation. And as
someone who was (and is) still unlearning things from well-meaning
childhood Sunday School teachers, it scared me. What if I screw these
kids up? What if I set the stage for things that they, too, would
have to unlearn?
My faith journey has been one of
evolution as I have grown older, from a more rigid understanding as a
child to one that has more gray than black and white. So as part of
ministering to the children at church, I have been vigilant to make
sure they have the opportunity to question, to think, to find a voice
for their own faith. It has also meant I have been very particular
about who teaches them. Not vocally, of course, but internally I
cringe when I hear a child regurgitate a literalist interpretation of
something that they've heard from a teacher.
But the truth is, I can't control the
faith of another person. I can't force them to think a certain way. I
can't even ensure that my evolving faith is without its blind spots
and shortcomings. (Actually, I am fully aware that I don't have it
all figured out!) Besides, in my teaching and ministering to these
children, if all I do is create a bunch of little mini-mes in regards
to faith, have I actually done my job?
The best I can do is offer these
children a safe space to question and explore their faith, giving
them tools for a lifetime of faith development as they grow older and
encounter new situations and information. So, while I won't be asking
a fundamentalist to teach, it does mean that I need to be okay with a
teacher who isn't on the same spot of the faith spectrum. And that
means dealing with my own control issues, as hard as it may be.
Besides, having teachers with varying opinions can help children see
that it's possible to disagree on some things and still be brothers
and sisters in Christ.
At the end of the day, I need to trust
that these children have the ability to sort through the faith ideas
presented to them and, over time, come to their own expression of
faith - even if it doesn't end up looking exactly like mine.
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