The Slow Burn of Transformation

The kingdom of heaven is supposed to change you. The kingdom of heaven is supposed to change this world. The kingdom of heaven though works a little slower than most of us. It is a slow burn and a slow transformation. Yes, there is a quick transformation once one commits their life to the giving life of the kingdom; however there is not a full transformation. We are in the process of being transformed and each day we are slowly becoming who God is creating. Complete transformation does not happen overnight. Paul would say that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2), meaning we are constantly being transformed. One cannot quit smoking overnight or quit being an alcoholic or drug addict in a day or two or seven. It is a transforming process and thus the kingdom of heaven is a transforming process that fully converts us into who God is creating us to be.

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord,” 1 Timothy reads, “who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted ignorant and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Timothy 1:12-17 NIV).

Paul's transformation from persecutor of the church to missionary to the gentiles is notorious in the Christian tradition. We know who Paul was before he became the Paul we know. We are aware of his deeds and his life before Christ. Likewise we are aware of his deeds and life after Christ. Even in the collection of letters that are attributed to Paul, we encounter an ever growing faith and theology of one of the most influential Christians of all time. By the time Paul, or someone writing for Paul, writes to Timothy, his true son in the faith, we are encountering a different Paul than the one in the first Thessalonian letter and the Galatians letter. By the time we read Philemon, we encounter a more mature Paul than before. Paul's transformation does not end on the road to Damascus or when the scales from his eyes falls off before Ananias; in fact his letters suggest that his transformation is just beginning but he is indeed a changed man. As Carl Holladay writes, “While the textual Paul of the Pastorals (1 & 2 Timothy and Titus letters) stands in continuity with the historical Paul, he has also moved beyond the Paul of the earlier letters.” (Holladay. A Critical Introduction to the New Testament pg 423).

Paul's own theology and person continually grows and created anew. While he is changed, Paul does not stop transforming into whom God is creating him to be. Paul's own historical life shows us what happens when one encounters the kingdom of heaven. He demonstrates clear evidence of the life changing power when one finds their role in the story of the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven changes us. Once we encounter Christ, once we choose to be made whole, we begin to be transformed, healed, and we are thoroughly changed. You and I are not who we were 10 years ago. As we grow in age, as we are transformed from childhood to adulthood, we are in a constant state of transformation. Even the church itself is in a constant form of transformation. With each new discovery, new revelation, new encounter with Christ the church changes. It has slowly transformed from small house churches in Rome or Ephesus to mega-churches in California, Texas, Virginia, Michigan, and other cities and states. It has transformed from extension of the Jewish faith to its own entity with several denominations. The kingdom of heaven does not just change us one and done. It is a continual transformation as Paul writes, “When I was a child I spoke like child. As I grew I put away childish things.”

We cannot expect to encounter Christ and remain unchanged. The most world shattering statement we can make is when we claim God exists. The minute we make that proclamation, we are no longer the same. The minute we make the proclamation, “I am a Christ follower” we are no longer who we just were. We become someone, something different. We become set a part and unlike others. We start the slow burn of transformation. However, many of us do not allow Christ to fully transform us. We reach a point to where the transformation hurts and we simply stop growing. We no longer desire to be fully clothed by Christ. That is to say we stop short of being fully converted.

I believe there are two distinct parts of our conversion. There is the first: Our realization of a greater power and realization of a better life, a life that belongs to the Father, a life created by One in whom our breath was given. A realization of who Jesus is and the choice to become a follower, a believer in Christ something we, Baptist folk, like to call a “profession of faith”. This first conversion is one which allows us to say, “I am trying to be a better person because I am saved by grace.” It is the realization of being in need for the mercy to which Paul speaks to. That is our first conversion.

The second conversion is the one in which become fully converted by allowing Christ to fully transform us, to fully convert us into who God is creating us to be. It is to realize that the first gives us the confidence to say, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God” and that being fully converted is to be fully born into the person God is creating. It is to fully reborn as a follower of Christ that says, “My existence can no longer remain the center, because the essence of the knowledge of God reveals my own existence as deriving its total being from his” (Henri Nouwen, “God Exists” Show Me the Way: Daily Lenten Readings pg 37). Being fully converted is allowing Christ to fully transform us, moving away from our guilt of the past and embracing fully this new life. We then are able to say, “Yes, indeed I was once a sinner but my sin no longer defines me thanks to the grace of Christ Jesus.” For once we have been fully converted, fully transformed by experiencing God's “love as the love in which all human experiences are anchored, we can only desire one thing: to be in that love” (Nouwen, pg 38).

We must remember that the kingdom of heaven is a journey of faith. The kingdom of heaven, it appears, is not breaking in all at once. Instead it is coming stages and unexpected ways thus we need to remind ourselves that we are not sprinting but running this race, this marathon surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses whom have gone before us. We must remember that the journey is changing us and to not resist the change Christ is doing within and in the world. Often we start to cling to the past life, the past ways, the past time instead of letting go and allowing God to fully transform us. Something holds us back. Something does not allow us to be fully converted. We become afraid. Perhaps what hinders us is the loud voice that says, “God won't love you anymore.” Perhaps it's the fear of losing what has been given or being rejected by God that binds us and stops us short of being fully transformed. Perhaps it is the fear that “once saved always saved” isn't true.

That used to be a fear of mine and some days I wonder if when it is all said and done if I will find myself separated into the group of the goats. I have been told that the thought of being “once saved always saved” was unbiblical. I would worry myself at night that Jesus was packing his bags and leaving my heart because my heart wasn't pure enough. My worst feeling at the age of 7 was sitting in my room after getting caught stealing tools out of a neighbor's shed was not the spanking I got but the fear that Jesus had left me and I was indeed bound for hell. That fear stuck with me as I grew up until one day when I was 14, my pastor, Earl Powell, sat with me outside our cabin at Falls Creek and read these words, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand” (John 10:27-30 NIV). He reminded me of what I mentioned before, he reminded me of what Paul wrote to the Roman church, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV).

On June 7, 1994, seven years after my conversion, I began my journey to being fully converted. I was able to cast aside my fear and fully begin my journey to becoming whom God was creating. It was a freeing moment, a life changing moment, and without that moment I would not have embraced this call to serve. I share that story so that you know the power of our assurance of Christ's unending, unconditional love that has been given to all God's people who are willing to open their eyes, hearts, minds, and souls to that love. I share that story so that if that fear resides in you, you may cast it away and fully embrace the journey God has in-store for you as part of the kingdom of heaven. Do not allow the voices of evil and despair deny you a better life, a kingdom life, a resurrection life.

On January 6 an invitation was given to you, inviting you to find your role in the story of the kingdom of heaven. My prayer for all of us this lenten season is to allow the love of Christ to fully transform our lives so that we may one day sing:

Road go ever ever on,   Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,   By streams that never find the sea; Over snow by winter sown,   And through the merry flowers of June, Over grass and over stone,   And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on,   Under cloud and under star, Yet feet that wandering have gone   Turn at last to home afar. Eyes that fire and sword have seen   And horror in the halls of stone Look at last on meadows green   And trees and hills they long have known. (J.R.R. Tolkien. The Hobbit pg 284).

My prayer is that at the end of this journey together towards the kingdom of heaven, to a bloody cross and an empty tomb, in Christ's likeness we awake; that we become closer to being fully transformed knowing that God is not through working; that we are able to fully be persons of where God is, and live from a place in which everything matters: giving water to the thirsty, clothing the naked, working towards the kingdom, saying a prayer, smiling at a child, reading a book, and sleeping in peace. All will become different as we are being transformed while all remains the same (Nouwen, pg 38). Let us be able to hear the voice of God say, “My dear child. Something is the matter with you! You are not the person you were.” (Tolkien, pg 284).