Long story short, I’m looking for a
new job (FYI – I resigned because of shifting of the church’s
staff model). It has been a difficult time – I’ve been in the
same place for 7.5 years, we’ve made our home here, we’ve made
great friends, 2 of our children were born here, and all 3 of our
children were dedicated at our current church. While it has been
difficult, it isn’t dreadful coming to work. The church has been
very gracious in not setting an end date for me to “get out” but
has been happy to work with me and allow me to have a full-time job
for another 3 months.
In the process of looking for work and
interviewing and sending out resumes, my wife and I have really
struggled with the fact that we have little to no control over the
process. Several churches have had expectations of what they need
from their next youth minister (a “lifer” Methodist, a person who
can lead the contemporary worship service, someone who can take
orders) (an FYI – these are all things I’ve dealt with in the
past several months and have been reasons why I wasn’t chosen as
the candidate), and I can’t control what gifts God gave me.
We are a people who like to be in
control of things. I want to be in control of when I get a job, and
what job I get, and what church I get the job in, and what city we’ll
reside in. We want to be in control of our money. We want to be in
control of our future. We want to control our schedules. This is one
reason why I don’t ride the city bus –I usually have to go all
the way uptown and wait on another bus in order to get to the bus I
need to get to in order to get home. I don’t have time for that.
When do we have time just to sit back
and take a deep breath? All this controlling can make a person tired
(and crazy).
2 verses come to mind that help put
things in perspective for me:
1. Psalm 46.10 – “be still and know
that I am God.”
Many people understand this as our need
to quiet ourselves to experience God’s presence. Certainly true.
There is a deeper meaning here, I believe. The Psalmist is saying
that we need to quit trying to control things. Read the previous
verses – God is making wars to end, breaking bows, shattering
spears. God says “Stop all your controlling when you don’t sense
my presence – I got this.” Remember the story of Job – God
basically calls out Job – who are you to question me; where were
you when I created Leviathan and Behemoth?
I’m not a big journaler, but I can
see the benefit of it. It can help remind us of God’s faithfulness
in the past, and how God has shown us to be faithful, so “we will
not fear though the earth should shake, though the mountains
shake…though its water roar and foam… (v.2).”
2. Matt. 6.34 “so do not worry about
tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s
trouble is enough for today.”
We can be confident that our life is in
God’s hands and that the whole world is in God’s hands (He’s
got the whole world in His hands [forgive the masculine language]).
I don’t want to fool you – I don’t
sit down every morning and say to myself, “Self, God is in control,
don’t worry about anything.” Being the sole person working for
pay in the Kellett household (my wife works plenty and doesn’t get
paid) and having 3 young children to care for, I stress out a lot.
June will be here before we know it, and I really hope I’m
gainfully employed. Ministry is unlike any other job in that you
can’t just pick up and go to another church with all things being
the same. A banker can go across town, and banks are banks. My
understanding of deposits and credits isn’t much different from
anyone else in the world. A teacher has multiple opportunities to
find employment - my understanding of Chemistry isn’t much
different than most other Chemistry teachers. Being in the Baptist
church that I am and being the kind of Christian that I am (i.e. my
beliefs) and being that I want to do something with youth ministry in
a congregational setting in the southeast kinda limits who I can
speak with and what churches would feel right for my family and me.
I just try to take a deep breath each
day and know that God is present, if I’ll just take the time to
notice.
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