I'm stuck.
I am working my way through planning a Sunrise Service and an Easter Service and I came across a verse that distracted my mind and I am needing to get undistracted and unstuck. You are most likely familiar with this verse:
"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots." (Luke 23:34).
The verse is quite simple really. Jesus seek forgiveness for those who are crucifying him and the guards are dividing up his clothes. Simple. So what am I stuck on?
Glad you asked.
I am not stuck on the latter part of the verse but stuck on the very words Jesus says. Now there is some discrepancy here. If you notice the footnote in your bible says, "Some early manuscripts do not have this sentence." Now, I'm not going to argue for or against this verse being added in by the writer or redactor or whomever. I think if it is removed it does change the theology of the cross and the death of Jesus but that's not what I am stuck on.
I am stuck on the very words themselves.
On the cross, shoulders separated, crown of thorns digging into his scalp, sweat dripping into open wounds, Jesus finds enough breath to say, "Father, forgive them." Jesus seeks forgiveness for his killers. I find it hard to believe.
I find it hard to believe because forgiveness is the one thing no Christian is really willing to give. We desire to receive it and are angered when we do not; yet we are just as unwilling to give. We add stipulations to forgiveness. We say, "Forgive but don't forget." We say, "Well, Jesus is Jesus so we practice forgiveness but they must seek it first or show remorse."
From the cross I see something different. No one there at this moment is remorseful. The criminals are mocking him. The guards are mocking him. The crowd is mocking him. Where are his disciples? Only after Jesus dies and the ground shakes do we see a morsel of remorse from a guard. Even the criminal whom Jesus says will be with him in paradise is not remorseful of actions that sent him to the cross. The criminal understands he is deserving but no where in the text does it say the criminal asks for forgiveness for his crimes or repents of his sins. We try to make the text feel better by saying Jesus knows the man's heart but it's not there in the text.
Let's explore this one step more. Have you noticed in the gospels that Peter never repents or seeks forgiveness for his denial? John is the only gospel to have any sort of conversation between Peter and Jesus, yet Peter never seeks forgiveness. In his conversation with Jesus by the fire, Peter's response to Jesus' "Do you love me?" is in a tone of frustration.
One more step: Have you noticed when Jesus forgives others of their sins it is something they never ask for? In the story of the man who is lowered through the roof by his friends, Jesus forgives the man before he even attempts to heal him. Jesus acknowledges the their faith but the man was not there to seek forgiveness. In fact, his healing only takes place when the Pharisees question his authority to forgive.
It would seem forgiveness is something we are to give even when it is not sought. And it appears that it is something we must give even if we do not want to: "For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15).
I am stuck here because we work so hard at being unable to forgive others. We look for excuses not to forgive, yet even in the epistles we are asked to forgive others as we have been forgiven. This is the struggle of this week: forgiveness.
Why are we not able to truly forgive one another?
Why do we create excuses or requirements around forgiveness?
If we, who claim to be Christians, are supposed to be in the likeness of Jesus, then why is this commandment, this part of the Christian story the one part we seek to compromise on?
I have heard amazing stories of people who were able to forgive others who committed horrible crimes against them. I have heard stories of people forgiving their parent's killers. I have heard stories of people forgiving the thieves who stole their precious family heirlooms. I have heard stories of people forgiving others for the simplest of matters. But I have heard stories of people who are unable to forgive or unwilling to forgive the largest and even the smallest of transgressions.
In the shower I asked myself a question as this thought stuck in my mind: Could you forgive the person who took the life of your son and wife? Could you forgive the person who robbed your home? Could you forgive the person who got you fired so many years ago? Could you forgive the person who took your wallet? Could you forgive the girl who broke your heart way back when?
My response to a majority of those?
God forgive me if I am not.
We all need forgiveness.
We all need to forgive.
We all need every ounce of power to do so.
Maybe it starts at the foot of the cross and hearing Jesus say, "Father, forgive them."
It is, as the song goes, the heart of the matter.
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