Without Apology

It's quiet in the house. Music plays in the background while I contemplate on your arrival. I've been anticipating you for awhile now. You were supposed to be here a few years ago. A few generations ago, truth be told. You don't seem to be in a hurry. You never are. You tend to take your time. It's understandable. If I only had thirty-three years to live, I would take my time too.

Not sure if you've noticed or not but we're kinda in a hurry down here. We've been waiting for so long for you to arrive, we're on the verge of chaos. Wars are being fought because we lack the ability to love sacrificially. We've waited so long that we've confused politicians as messiahs. We've taken your commandments and tried to make an empire out of them by turning them on their head. You said, "You've been told but I tell you." but we've said, "We've been told works better than what you've told." We're waiting with great impatience.

You're not going to hurry up, are you? I didn't think so. You'll get here when you're good and ready.

Wait.

Are you hear already? Are you here in our midst now?

Some say you are. In one form or another, you're here with us. Some say you're off waiting in a palace on golden streets waiting to make your return. Some say...some say.

I'm still waiting. I've waited for answers to questions I've asked repeatedly. I've waited for clarity in decisions I needed to make yesterday. I'm still waiting. You're still taking your time.

Doubt there's anything I could do to convince you to hurry up?

Didn't think so.

You know, the longer people wait, the more likely they are to take action on their own? Of course you know. And you're still not in a hurry? Shouldn't surprise me. You were never in a hurry when you were here before. You didn't rush to save your friend Lazarus. You waited three days. I know...I know...three day rule.

You're on your way though, right?

I get it. You'll get here when you get here. You'll respond when you respond.

I guess all we can do is wait then?

Figured.

Until then. Until you get here, will you please help us with a few things?

Help us to love one another as you love us. Help us to be known by our love. Help us seek your kingdom and live as children of God. Keep the light ignited when this dark world tries to extinguish it. Help us to give of ourselves as you give of yourself. Help us to forgive as you forgive. Help us see as you see.

Help us live as you lived, without apology.

See you soon or whenever you get here.

Happy Advent.

The Lion Spoke And It Hurt

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt." Eustace Scrubb

Jesus hurts. Let me rephrase that, "Knowing Jesus hurts." No, let me rephrase again, "Following Jesus hurts." One more time, "Loving Jesus hurts." There. Much better. Or is it much worse?

I read an article the other day at ethicsdaily.com about the recent tax bill to not let the Bush Era tax cuts expire and to keep jobless benefits, as well as the tax cut for the middle class. Wendall Griffen writes, "We are warned in Psalm 146:3 not to place ultimate trust in rulers – no matter what their political party or philosophy may be – but in God. The drama being played out in Washington over extending unemployment benefits for laid-off workers shows that politicians are dealmakers. Their primary concern is not justice for the poor, weak and vulnerable, but the campaign contributions and support they can garner from the wealthy and powerful. So why aren't religious leaders talking about this issue? Could it be that we, like the politicians, are more concerned about money, church pledges to capital campaigns, and budgets than to how our vulnerable neighbors are treated?"

The quote made me wonder, who is  responsible for the protection and care for the poor? Government or the Church? So, who is responsible to care for the poor? I posted the question on Facebook and garnered three responses. All three agreed that it was the Church, not the government, whose primary concern should be for the poor. All three differed as to what the role of the government should play when it comes to dealing with the poor. One quoted Ben Franklin, "he best way to encourage the poor to get out of poverty, is to make them as uncomfortable as possible. That way they try to better themselves." Another stated that it is both the Church's and government's responsibility to create a fair and just government.

For awhile I was at a lost of where I stood on this matter until I read John the Baptist's question to Jesus. John is in Herod's prison and sends his followers to Jesus to ask, "Are you the one or should we wait for another." It's a good question, especially if you know your life is at stake. Jesus responds, "Go back and tell John what you see and here, 'The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed are those who do not stumble on account of me." Is Jesus the one or should we wait for another?

Do not be too quick to answer that question because your answer is going to cost you something. Jesus doesn't rescue John. He doesn't reattach his head after he is beheaded by Herod. If you answer, yes Jesus is the one, it will cost you. It hurts to follow Jesus. Stephen Colbert recently stated, "because if this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we need to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are or we need to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't wanna do it." The point is, as my friend Christina said, that we are commanded to take care of others. In fact, we are told to give sacrificially the gains of our labor to those who have none. Following, knowing, loving Christ hurts.

The government should be held responsible for caring for the poor; however, eradicating poverty will never come through government policies. Therefore, it is the responsibility of God's people, the Church, to care for the poor. If Ben Franklin believed the key to end poverty was to make the poor so uncomfortable that they try to better themselves, then the Church should make the rich as uncomfortable as possible so that they try to better themselves by giving up what we believe is ours. We are quick to thank God for our blessings in life; yet we are just as quick to say, "You cannot have what is mine."

The minute I wrote that and chose to step away from this post, I was met with an opportunity to practice what I preached. One of the janitors needed a few dollars for gas. He was there asking for an advance on his check (something our church doesn't do without an advance on the advance) and desperately needed $20 for gas. He said he would pay me back on Monday. I gave him $8 and he was very grateful for those measly eight dollars; but if God was going to give me a grade, it would be C- and that's being generous. I could have driven him to the gas station and filled his car up. I could have given him more but all I thought about was how much it was going to cost me and wondering if I was going to get any of it back. So I gave little.

It hurts following Jesus. It hurts to do what Jesus commanded us to do. It hurts so we come up with ways not let it hurt. We look at the motives and reasons of those in need before we decide to give. Yet, we are told not too. We are told to give up more when asked for little. We are told to help provide when others are unable. We are commanded to care for one another, a commandment that was followed to the letter in Acts as each follower of Christ brought all that they had and laid it the apostles feet and none went without.

In his transformation from a dragon back to a little boy, Eustace tried to 'undress' himself before he entered the pool Aslan pointed too. Each time he did, he only removed a layer. After the third time, Aslan spoke, "I'm going to have to undress you." Eustace described the pain of being undressed by the lion as a pain that you feel when you take a scab off. It hurts when you do it but you are glad that you did.

It is not easy changing our desires. It hurts. It hurts even more when we allow Christ to change them for us. We are being asked this Christmas to change. God is calling us to wade into the pool but first we need to be undressed and that is going to hurt a lot more.

Wait For It...

"Then the Lord answered me and said:
Write the vision;
   make it plain on tablets,
   so that a runner may read it.
For there is still a vision for the appointed time;
   it speaks of the end, and does not lie.
If it seems to tarry, wait for it;
   it will surely come, it will not delay." (Hab. 2:2-4)

It's snowing right now. The metorologists are predicting 2-4 inches of the white stuff. Some would say that this potential snow fall is coming at the wrong time. It's going to interrupt the few days left of Christmas shopping. It's going to interrupt Christmas parties (which reminds me, probably should put together a plan b). It's going to make traffic slow. It's going to make me have to go outside and shovel the snow off my sidewalk, shovel my car out and my wife's car out, not to mention the neighbors' cars that I'll end up shoveling because...well I like shoveling snow. Where was I? Oh yes...it's going to cause a problem for those in a hurry this holiday season and I guess we just do not have the time for snow.

We're a culture of hurry. The proof's in the pudding as they would say. Whatever that means and whoever "they" are. We have everything we could want provided to us within a second. In hurry to eat? Stop at McDonald's and get your meal with 30 seconds! Need to get a message to someone and don't have time to talk? Text them. I think you get the point. It's nothing new.

Still, it would seem that it is something we have trouble with.

We're coming to the end of Advent. Soon, we will gather in our respective congregations and sing "Silent Night" while lighting candles. Soon, children will rush down the stairs and rapidly tear through their presents, passing out like Randy in A Christmas Story afterwards. Soon, Christmas will be over and we will ask ourselves, "Where did it go?" With a blink of an eye it will be over.

The Son of God did not come to us in a hurry. Generations after being promised, he arrived and spent nine months gestating in Mary's womb. Then he spent 30 years growing up, learning to possess a strange patience that will cause him to stop and talk to a woman who touched him on his way to heal Jaris' daughter. It's amazing how fast we have to move. It's amazing that we know how much stress is caused because we feel rushed; yet we do nothing to alternate that lifestyle. It would seem to me then, that these moments of beautiful frightening weather is God's way of saying, "Slow down because you're about to miss it."

It's snowing today and God is saying, "Slow down. Something amazing is happening. Whether today or tomorrow, something amazing is happening. Slow down, you will not want to miss it." In the words of Barney Stinson, "Wait for it..."

Happy Christmas

Changing the Bells and Whistles

How do we change our basic desires?

That question was asked by a friend after reading my post on the Minister's Ego. I've wrestled trying to come up with a decent formulated answer. Sure, there's lots of quips that answer the question: "Tuning our hearts to God," "Staying God's Word," "Kingdom Living," "Gospel Lifestyle," "Secret Messages of Jesus," etc. It would appear there is a book, article, or essay written about changing our basic desires. Each one sums itself up with a slogan that many churches take and use as their own slogan i.e. Purpose Driven. Sound familiar?

I am not sure what the answer is to the question. I don't believe there is a simple slogan formulated answer that Outreach can run a successful church program off of. Nor do I believe there is a best selling book by a semi professional minister that could fully answer this question. I do not think the answer we are looking for will be found in books, magazines, devotionals, or perhaps even in the Bible. While books on ministry are helpful and often provide new insight into how the church functions, the books only focus on either what's wrong with the Church, what the Church/Christian needs, or a new kind of something. Devotionals, while helpful in maintaining a semi-healthy spiritual life, do not provide us fully with an answer to the question. The Bible, on the one hand, does offer a partial answer to the question asked.

The scriptures provide us with an insight to how we change our desires but those insights have been turned into slogans and calendar one-liners; which is why I wrote that perhaps the Bible does not offer a full answer. The Bible does not offer a full answer to the question because we've not allowed the Bible to do give us the full answer. We've chopped the scriptures up into one-line statements to put on greeting cards and desk calendars; reducing the words to nothing more than words of encouragement or statements. The scriptures no longer hold the power of the story to transform our desires because that power costs too much. In order for us to change our natural desires of our ids, we need to be willing to sacrifice something. Another way to put it is, we need something to happen to force us to change.

Jesus once told the Rich Young Man that in order to inherit eternal life he must obey the commandments (do not commit adultery, murder, do not steal or give false testimony, honor your mother and father. Then he said, the young man lacked one thing. Jesus told him to sell everything he had and give it to the poor and then follow him. This of course made the young man sad because he had lots of nice things and turned away. The cost of change was too great and the rich man's ego would not allow the change to take place. It hurt too much and the id could not handle the change.

Our desires change when we experience something that changes our understanding. Two years ago, I experienced something that changed the way I understood my identity. I've always been an American Christian. I grew up a Christian and I grew up in America. My identity was wrapped up in my American heritage and my understanding of Christianity in America. I thought the two were inseparable or one in the same; until I spent two weeks in Argentina. My first day there I was confronted about my identity. I knew the language barrier would be an issue. I knew my poor knowledge of the Spanish language would be an issue but I didn’t expect my inability to speak Spanish and their inability to speak English cause me to struggle within myself of what my identity rested in.

We were gathered outside a bank while some of the students withdrew money from the ATM. I realized that all I had was American cash and needed to exchange it for Argentina pesos. I went inside the bank and in my very bad Spanish asked the bank host if she spoke English. She shook her head no and we both stared at one another wide eyed and scared. It was at that moment that I felt lost. I felt that I was being judged because I was a United States citizen and because I couldn’t speak Spanish. That wasn’t the case though, I wasn’t being judged by this girl or by anyone there. When I left the bank, lost and confused I realized that my issue had nothing to do with not being able to exchange money, instead my issue had to do with who did I belong to? What was more important: my nationality as a US citizen or my Christianity? This issue wedged itself into my mind and I spent the rest of my time in Argentina wrestling with it.

In my confusion, in my weakness, I was confronted by Christ as to who I belonged to and what was more important, my nationality or my faith. It was a difficult confrontation and it hurt as I weeded through years of institutional thinking in terms of American Christianity; yet in this confrontation, my desires changed. The desire to be an American Christian changed to be a Christian (who happens to live in America). It had nothing to do with patriotism, it had everything to do with my basic desires, my basic needs. My basic need to be identified by my nationality was overwritten by a new basic need to identified by Christ. It was as if Christ said, "You know the commandments but you're lacking one thing. Ditch the national identity and follow me. For there are neither American or Argentines."

I believe our natural desires are only changed when confronted by Christ. The gospels are full of confrontational moments between Christ and our natural desires. In each confrontation, Christ presents a new desire, a new basic need that overtakes the old desires. The beauty of the gospel is that it showcases how difficult it is to change our basic wants and needs. The story of the rich young man shows a confrontation in which the basic desires of comfort and security outweigh the new desire of being poor and following Christ. Yet, in the same gospel, Jesus presents new desires to Zacchaeus and Zacchaeus' basic desires are changed.

It is possible to change the bells and whistles of our natural desires; however, it burns to do so. I know that is not a good enough answer but it is going to have to suffice for now.

Can We Be Unified

One of the most often stated response when a church is looking for a pastor is, "We are looking for someone to unify us or give us a unifying direction." Congregations say they wish to be unified, with the sole responsiblity of the pastor to do so. It's an unhealthly, unrealistic expectation. A congregation is made up of individuals who have come together to worship God and be in community with one another in faith. One would think that unity would not be that difficult. The problem is that many believe unity means that each must be unified in doctrine and in belief. The desire to be as the early church was, of one body, one spirit, one mind, and one soul, is a noble and proper desire; however, is it truly possible? Can the Christian community ever truly be unified?

The beauty of the question is, it is a question as old as time. The Church has been searching for a unifying direction for centuries. Each generation before and each generation after, has or will wrestle with the question. And like all those before, each wrestling match will be fought with certaintude and little optimism. The struggle for unification within the Christian community is well documented in history and in the Scriptures. From the Ephesians letter to the Reformation under Martin Luther to today's struggles of unity, we can see clearly that this question is not a question based in certaintude or absolutism but in something completely different.

Ephesians states, "But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brough near by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us." I'm fascinated that this Pauline letter chooses to use Christ as the unifier because Christ says that he did not come to to bring peace but a sword. That he would divide families, fathers, sons, daughters, and mothers. But that's not the argument here. The argument is that Jesus is the unifier because he is the one commonality among believers.


For many, Christ is not the sole uniter. It is their stance on issues from homosexuality, abortion, social justice, biblical inerrancy, heaven and hell, women in ministry, to types of worship music/styles, preaching styles, and size of the church that unify them. Many have chosen churches based on whether or not the majority agrees on one of the above theological issues. I do not wish to take away from the theological importance many of those issues but I do wish to raise the importance of Christ as the uniter. The issues become the commonality of the church. We choose which church we attend or work at, based on whether or not the church and their staff agree with our position. We've all done it. We've all chosen a church based on music, preaching style, church beliefs, and size. If we are honest, our commonality in Christ is often the very last stance we come too.




I asked the question to my Facebook friends, "Can the Christian faith ever truly be united?" Not a lot of people responded. Perhaps they understood that the question was a rhetorical one. Perhaps, they are not as Facebook needy as I am. I am leaning strongly towards the latter. One comment concluded while they hoped we could, but the divide between demonations and politics will always keep us from true unity. Another concluded that we could if we removed ourselves. If we allow ourselves to be created through God then unity already is and is yet to come. Unity through God is possible by removing ourselves; but is it possible to remove ourself?

Removing ourself from the equation might seem impossible but it's not entirely. It would take a change in our language and in our understanding of the Christian faith. It will take something greater than compromise. When my wife and I were doing pre-marital counseling, I remember reading or hearing that couples do not seek to make compromises. Compromise means someone getting their way and in the end too much compromise leds to unrest and unhappiness in a marriage. Instead seek to create something different.  You do not compromise. You come to a conscenous. Compromise means that one person is not getting what they fully want and it can/will eventually led to a rift. Coming to a consenus means that one will come upon something greater, together. (*REMINDER: this argument needs to be flushed out more*)



In the book The Legend of Bagger Vance, Bagger, the prescient caddy to all-but-washed-up professional golfer Randolf Junah tells him:

”Love your opponents. When I say love, I don’t mean hand them the match. I mean contend with them to the death, the way a lion battles a bear, without mercy but with infinite respect. Never belittle an opponent in your mind, rather build him up, for on the plane of the Self there can be no distinction between your being and his. Be grateful for your opponents’ excellence. Applaud their brilliance. For the greatness of the hero is measured by that of his adversaries.”

Compromise removes our brothers and sisters' excellence and brillance. Working toward a compromise does not further the kingdom of God. Jesus never sought out a compromise with the Pharisee. We think love means to compromise. We think we must compromise in order to come together. The truth is, we don't. We do not need compromise, we need a consenous. That consenous is the cornerstone of Jesus Christ. Consenous is about the closest word available to what it means to be unified in Christ. Though, it does not come as close as I am searching for.

Unity in Christ, actually the writer writes, "Our peace." Our peace is Jesus Christ. Peace...perhaps that is the word I am looking for. This isn't the peace we are used to thinking about. Jesus never speaks of holding hands and singing kumbya around the campfire. The peace of Christ is a very uncomfortable, yet comforting peace. It's an odd peace. It's unsettling and settling at the same time. It causes us to argue and fight, but is still able to bring us together. The peace of Christ is the word I was looking for.

The Minister's Ego

My first semester at OBU (that's Oklahoma Baptist University, not the other OBU) I attempted to major in psychology. My original goal in college was to leave with a BA in Psychology, attain a Masters, and eventually a PhD, all in the areas of psychology. I had no plans to be a counselor, a shrink; instead I wanted to be a negotiator for the FBI or US Marshals (not really sure the US Marshals have a negotiator position). However, after three test scores of 54 out of 100, I decided my skills were not meant in the psychological department. Turns out I didn't know how to study, etc. Plus the questions were rather odd. I remember one question, "Mary caught Alice with her husband John. Mary shoots Alice and John. Which part of the brain caused her to do so?" My response was, "Whatever part caused her to pull the trigger. The "I'm pissed" part?" Turns out its most likely the amygdala in the limbic system or the basal ganglia. Google it but erase your history because you don't want people thinking you're trying to kill someone. And by erase your history, I mean your internet history not your actually history.

Freud wrote, "The ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world ... The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions ... in its relation to the id it is like a man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse; with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength, while the ego uses borrowed forces." The ego seeks to please the id, the id being our pleasure seeker. The id houses our basic drives: food, sex, happiness, fear, etc. A minister's id creates a basic need to be liked, wanted, and needed. Therefore, the minister's ego creates a ministry based solely in fulfilling that need or desire. An example of this could be found in the way multi-site mega churches function. Many multi-site churches have one lead pastor who is the face of the church. Most of the time, that lead pastor is the founder/planter of the church. The lead pastor becomes the sole face of the church by preaching at every main service offered at one of the multi-sites. For years, they would video themselves into a service. The sermon coming in the form of the preacher videotaped or streamed live. As technology improves, multi-site church pastors are now projecting hologram versions of themselves to these off campus sites.

Ed Young Jr., is one lead pastor of a multi-site church who has begun using hologram technology to project himself to the services of Fellowship Church's off campus sites. The argument for the hologram technology is the spreading of the Gospel. Young believes, along with several lead pastors, that the use of hologram technology and video technology spreads the Gospel message. “Paul wrote letters and wasn't always present”, Young says. I bring this up because the minister's id creates a basic desire to be liked, needed, and wanted by a congregation. Therefore, the minister's ego seeks to satisfy the id in realistic ways; technology to preach at several different sites for example, satisfies the id in a realistic way. At the deep unconscious of a minister exists a greater personal desire to be needed and we will do whatever it takes to satisfy that need.

The minister's id seeks to benefit the minister. It's our basic needs and desires. Though we may mask in the form of doing God's will, ultimately we are seeking to be benefit ourselves. It's human nature and there is no way around it. My id creates a desire within me to be noticed, accepted, understood, loved, and financially rewarded. My ego seeks to satisfy my id by creating realistic ways to achieve the desires. For example, I make visits to those in the hospital because I like hearing people say how good I am or how nice it was for me to come by. Their words approve my basic desire of wanting to be liked. Does that mean it's wrong? No, it's my basic human nature. The id is only creating desires that are natural and inherent to us all.

Walter Bruggemann writes, "On all counts, the act of preaching is: foolish because in the congregation some know more and because every congregation there are those ideologically committed in ways that preclude serious listening. As a result the preacher's utterance is already determined to be disputations even before it is heard. Dangerous if it is faithful, because the powers of retrenchment are everywhere among us, a passion to keep things as they were before the utterance. Exposing…for good preaching must speak truth to which the preacher’s own life does not always attest." He argues that preaching is foolish, dangerous, and exposing, because what must be said in proclamation constitutes a daring alternative to the ideological passions that may be present in the congregation, to the powers that conduct surveillance, either inside or outside the congregation, and to the preacher’s own sense of self. Bruggemann’s point is that minister’s vocation creates an alternative to what is already established. Our vocation is dangerous because it upsets the created order of things in life, especially in church. The minister does not fully live into this vocation because our id dictates what is good for us, and what is good for us is security. If Freud is correct, then our ego creates realistic ways for our vocation to remain safe.